The day I found out I was pregnant I knew it would be a changing day in my life. I had never been around anyone that was pregnant before. I was only 4 yrs old when my mom was pregnant with my little sister and I was too busy playing in my own world to even notice or care. One day there were four of us in my family and the next day there were 5. That's about all I remember about it. Oh yes, I remember the day mom came home with her. An "ugly" little thing I thought. Lots of hair sticking up in every direction. Wasn't mom going to make her brush that crazy stuff. And kind of pink in color too. Didn't matter to me. It was the first week of August and all I could think about was only having about four weeks of summer left and I had a lot of playing to get done. So out the door it was for me. "See you guys on Sunday" I thought. "I'm outta here".
Mom brought me home from the Drs. office, kissed me, said goodbye and off she drove. I couldn't wait for my hubby to get home so I could tell him this wonderful news. I just knew he would be thrilled. I was right! He hugged me and put his hand on my tummy and we just stood there in a moment of "Awe". I was so excited and it appeared he was too. And even though my mom felt the way she did about "him" the fact was, she was going to be a grandma. This news didn't seem to impress her much in the beginning but she did seem to drop by a little more often during her lunch hours from work to check on me. Maybe the idea was going to grow on her. Needless to say this pregnancy was going to be a real "eye opener" for me. I had morning sickness for the first three months. Lord, if this is what being pregnant is like I'm not finding it very pleasurable. Our money was running short because construction was slow and we were finding it harder and harder to be able to pay the rent. Shortly after the first of the year we were forced to go live with his parents. We certainly weren't welcome at mine. By this time my mother had remarried and her new hubby wasn't fond of mine either. "Who cares" I thought. They didn't have to love him or even like him for that matter. I did and that was all that really mattered to me.
We packed our few belongings and moved in with his parents. His younger sister was still living at home and within a week of us moving in she informed us that she was pregnant too. Boy oh boy! talk about a house full of hormones! A menopausal mother-in-law, two pregnant "teenagers" and two males who had only two things on their minds, "beer and naked women". His mother did some part time private nursing, I didn't work outside the home and neither did his sister. She never did confess who the father of her baby was so she had no financial help from him at the time either. I would dare say that between the 5 of us and the lack of work the way it was for the men folk we probably had the income of one person working a full time job. It was at this time that I had my first experience with pinto beans and mashed potatoes made with potatoes and water mashed together. Oh it was awful! I thought I was going to starve to death. I do remember once or twice my father-in-law bringing home a squirrel or two to fry up for dinner. HOLY COW I thought. Who in the world eats varmints you find in the trees of your front yard? What happened to COWS and PIGS? Isn't that what normal people eat? When did we start eating wildlife for supper? There was one thing for sure. I didn't have to worry about gaining too much weight with this pregnancy. The days were long and the nights were longer and all I had on my mind was praying that my baby would be born healthy.
In late February my father's mother passed away and his father was in a state of despair. Dad decided to move in with him for an undetermined amount of time. He offered his home in Virginia to us while he was living with his dad. He contacted a friend of his that had a construction company and talked him into giving my husband a job. Maybe this will be the break we needed. Oh well, that dream didn't last long. It only took about a week for him to make friends with one of the guys at work. He too had recently married a girl who would soon become my only friend in the world. We spent our days watching out for each other since our husbands spent all their spare time partying. For the most part we never knew where they were much less when they might be home. Sometimes they were gone for 5 or 6 hours, other times it could be 5 or 6 days. You never knew. You would just sit and wait. And wait and wait and wait. God be willing he will have sobered up by the time he would return or you knew what was going to happen.
I don't know what I ever did to make it happen. The abuse that is. It wasn't as if I had done anything wrong. I had no transportation and only one friend in the world. It wasn't like I could go anywhere or do anything. About once a week my dad would stop in on his way home from work. He worked the night shift for the railroad which made it possible for him to stop and check on me after my husband had left to go to work. There were many Sunday and Monday mornings that I prayed he would not stop. It was getting harder and harder to explain away the bruises. And the further along I got in my pregnancy the angrier my dad would become when he would find me with bruises all over me. There is one day in particular that I will never forget. My husband didn't go into work because he was still hung over from the night before. Dad stopped by and even though it appeared as if I had run face first into a train he knew that wasn't the case. He got fired up mad and the two of them started arguing. They got louder and louder and I became more and more afraid of what the outcome was going to be. "Oh dad" I thought. "Just leave". You are just going make this harder for me when you leave. I talked him into leaving and they argued all the way out to his car. Dad opened the door and got in leaving the door open so they could continue to yell at each other. Then I saw dad reach under the seat of his car and I knew BIG trouble was coming. I knew dad had his gun under his front seat, he never drove without it. Next thing I knew I was standing between them. Four months pregnant and here I am standing between my father and my husband with my dad pointing a gun at him.
"DAD" I cried. "PLEASE DON'T. Please leave, just leave. I don't want him dead and you in prison. Please dad, for me, just go. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know that I'm okay." Standing between two men when one has a gun is a very dangerous place to be! Another lesson better left unlearned.
We packed our few belongings and moved in with his parents. His younger sister was still living at home and within a week of us moving in she informed us that she was pregnant too. Boy oh boy! talk about a house full of hormones! A menopausal mother-in-law, two pregnant "teenagers" and two males who had only two things on their minds, "beer and naked women". His mother did some part time private nursing, I didn't work outside the home and neither did his sister. She never did confess who the father of her baby was so she had no financial help from him at the time either. I would dare say that between the 5 of us and the lack of work the way it was for the men folk we probably had the income of one person working a full time job. It was at this time that I had my first experience with pinto beans and mashed potatoes made with potatoes and water mashed together. Oh it was awful! I thought I was going to starve to death. I do remember once or twice my father-in-law bringing home a squirrel or two to fry up for dinner. HOLY COW I thought. Who in the world eats varmints you find in the trees of your front yard? What happened to COWS and PIGS? Isn't that what normal people eat? When did we start eating wildlife for supper? There was one thing for sure. I didn't have to worry about gaining too much weight with this pregnancy. The days were long and the nights were longer and all I had on my mind was praying that my baby would be born healthy.
In late February my father's mother passed away and his father was in a state of despair. Dad decided to move in with him for an undetermined amount of time. He offered his home in Virginia to us while he was living with his dad. He contacted a friend of his that had a construction company and talked him into giving my husband a job. Maybe this will be the break we needed. Oh well, that dream didn't last long. It only took about a week for him to make friends with one of the guys at work. He too had recently married a girl who would soon become my only friend in the world. We spent our days watching out for each other since our husbands spent all their spare time partying. For the most part we never knew where they were much less when they might be home. Sometimes they were gone for 5 or 6 hours, other times it could be 5 or 6 days. You never knew. You would just sit and wait. And wait and wait and wait. God be willing he will have sobered up by the time he would return or you knew what was going to happen.
I don't know what I ever did to make it happen. The abuse that is. It wasn't as if I had done anything wrong. I had no transportation and only one friend in the world. It wasn't like I could go anywhere or do anything. About once a week my dad would stop in on his way home from work. He worked the night shift for the railroad which made it possible for him to stop and check on me after my husband had left to go to work. There were many Sunday and Monday mornings that I prayed he would not stop. It was getting harder and harder to explain away the bruises. And the further along I got in my pregnancy the angrier my dad would become when he would find me with bruises all over me. There is one day in particular that I will never forget. My husband didn't go into work because he was still hung over from the night before. Dad stopped by and even though it appeared as if I had run face first into a train he knew that wasn't the case. He got fired up mad and the two of them started arguing. They got louder and louder and I became more and more afraid of what the outcome was going to be. "Oh dad" I thought. "Just leave". You are just going make this harder for me when you leave. I talked him into leaving and they argued all the way out to his car. Dad opened the door and got in leaving the door open so they could continue to yell at each other. Then I saw dad reach under the seat of his car and I knew BIG trouble was coming. I knew dad had his gun under his front seat, he never drove without it. Next thing I knew I was standing between them. Four months pregnant and here I am standing between my father and my husband with my dad pointing a gun at him.
"DAD" I cried. "PLEASE DON'T. Please leave, just leave. I don't want him dead and you in prison. Please dad, for me, just go. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know that I'm okay." Standing between two men when one has a gun is a very dangerous place to be! Another lesson better left unlearned.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment