Just when I thought we were safe...cont.

You would think that the hard part was over. Lisa letting me know what happened and me kicking him out of the house but that my friends was the easy part. He had no money and no place to go other than to his parents house which meant he was going to have to tell them what happened. Now check this out. Here is a man that goes to his parents house, confesses that he molested his daughter and his parents DON'T BELIEVE HIM! Can you believe that? The more he tried to be accountable for what he had done the more they told him to deny it, deny it, deny it. They could not handle having their name associated with such a thing as molest. His dad was a retired navy capt. and he had a reputation to keep up. He was well known in the community and he wasn't about to let anyone tarnish their name. Oh and there is one more fact that will prove to have a tremendous impact on my story. He had MONEY! Something I no longer had since I just threw my major source of income out the door and it takes a money, lawyers and lots of time to get child support enforced.
So, this was their plan, his parents that is. After they realized they were not going to be able to talk me into dropping the subject they figured if they could make me need them or him financially maybe they stood a chance in getting him back in the house. My thoughts? FORGET IT!!! Never gonna happen! I told you that once and I'm not changing my mind! If I remember the conversation with his dad correctly, he began by badgering me, telling me he would see me in the streets without anything not even my own children if I didn't put a stop to my accusations. He had the money, the time and the attorneys to help him do just that and I was very aware of it. So the BATTLE had begun. I pressed charges against him anyway. Two felony counts of child molestation. I was so sick of always being the victim and no one ever paying the price that I was determined see this through. Someone was going to pay for what they did to her and it was going to be HIM!! At least that was my plan. After social services got involved things really started to get complicated. Mandatory meetings for him and for me and Lisa. Meetings that would leave her in tears and me in total disgust. His lawyers were threatening to put Lisa on the stand and make her tell her story over and over until she broke if I didn't drop the charges. We were made to go to counseling twice a week which kept Lisa in turmoil all the time. How many times and to how many people were we going to have to tell this story to before someone did something about it. Their plan was working. Lisa and I were wearing down. I was getting tired of seeing her cry all the time and I was so full of anger I was about to blow. How could this be happening? Lisa told me then and she will tell you today, that what she and I went through after we told the truth was more devastating that the actual molest. Now that is just not how it is supposed to be. We were drowning financially and emotionally. It got to a point where I had to make the choice between saving what dignity and emotional stability she had left or continuing with pressing charges against him. She was becoming an emotional wreck and I wasn't far behind her. If you had the choice of seeing someone pay for what they did to your child, leaving them needing therapy for the rest of their life or letting it go and trying to salvage what was left of what should be your daughters "childhood" and her immediate mental health WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? I'll tell you what I chose. HER! again. She had been through enough. She had been questioned and questioned and asked over and over and over to repeat the events and I was just sick of it. I had to put a stop to it at all cost. I had to save her. She didn't do anything to deserve being treated like this. So we agreed to reduce the charges to misdemeanor charges. This not only let him off the hook as far as having any jail time it also meant that it would never show up on his police record. What did we get out of that decision? The chaos slowing down. The meetings and sessions and talking to people coming to a close. Lisa could start to go on with her little life as she knew it before. We knew exactly what we had to work with now, what we were going to have to do now as a family with no husband or father and minimal income. But you know what? God said he would never put on us more than we could handle. There have been times in my life where I have thought "God you must think I am a whole lot stronger than I am, but we've flown by the seat of our pants more than once before so I guess we can do it one more time". We had lost a husband and a father. Several of the moms I babysat for would no longer let me watch their children even though nothing had ever happened to any of them. I lost casual friends and I lost a couple of very dear friends because they just didn't know how to handle what had happened. Guess they thought it had come too close to home for them. So there we were. On our own again.


It is not a "child's" job to be anything more than the "child" that they are. A childhood lasts such a short time and there will be a lifetime afterward to have to deal with adult situations and responsibilities. Lisa was burdened with a lot of adult issues and responsibilities that she should never have had to deal with. I hated it then and I hate it now that her childhood was cut short. It took the two of us working together to survive and try to give Jr. some type of normal life. I doubt he will ever fully realize what his sister gave up for him. I know what she gave up to help me.
The lesson for today......... Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord! Sometimes the price you pay for revenge is just way too high. One day each of us will stand before God and will have to confess our sins and be punished for them accordingly. Leave your anger and frustration, your pain and heartbreak at the throne of God. He will handle it for you. Just move on with your life.