Finding husband number three

Here we go again!! Back to good ole Virginie! I was so tired of moving around. That was all I had done for the last five years. I had lived in twelve different places in the last five years. Each time leaving more and more of myself and my belongings behind. I had mastered the art of starting over I just hadn't mastered getting anywhere after I got started. But I sure did know how to pick up and leave. Nothing in my life seemed to last very long except having Lisa. She was my gift from God. He gave her to me as a sign of hope. A sign that there can be something in your life that will last forever. Me loving her and her loving me. She didn't care where we were. And she never judged me about my choices. She didn't then and she doesn't now. Our love has always been unconditional. I was far from the greatest mother in the world but I always made sure she was always warm and fed and had a comfortable place to sleep and she made sure she looked at me everyday with those beautiful blue eyes and said "I love you". She did it then and she does it now, every day. Her love for me kept me looking for a better life for the two of us. And even though I failed time after time she never complained or gave up on me.
Okay like I said, we were headed back to Virgina. Back to dear old dads and this time he had a new wife. "Oh boy" I thought. This is really gonna be fun this time." Sharing my dad with anyone other than my sister was not something I was very good at. He belonged to me....and my sister and we weren't used to having to share him. But I needed his help so I was willing to give it a shot. I had no car so I counted on dad to let me use his car to look for a job once Lisa and I got moved in. I had to take whatever job I could find since I had no experience in anything other than delivering auto parts and nothing more than a GED for an education. But I had the ability to talk a blind man into buying snow so it wasn't long before I had another job delivering auto parts and learning to work the counter at the auto parts store. This would be where I would meet husband number three. I had just turned twenty and he was twenty five. I liked being a social butterfly and he hated public places. He loved staying at home, listening to music, having a drink and cooking a steak on the grill. I loved being with friends, going out to dinner and going to see a good movie from time to time. I know what you're thinking......what a perfect match, right? Wrong again. My relationship with him moved a little faster than I had anticipated because I learned another lesson the hard way. We had met in February and by mid summer I had moved in with him. I confess that I hadn't filed for divorce from Tony yet but I didn't have the extra money and at the time and I didn't see the rush......that is until mid November when I found out I was pregnant. "Oh crap" I thought. "This was just what I needed. Another child". But he seemed really excited and so did his parents. So much so that they offered to give me the money to pay for an attorney to get my divorce and I took them up on the offer. My divorce was final on December the 30th and we were married in his parents home by the Justice of the Peace on December the 31st. Talk about jumping out of the fire into the frying pan! But I was pregnant, he was good to me and Lisa and his parents worshiped the ground Lisa walked on and I was there only hope of ever having a biological grandchild of their own. They would have done anything to get us to get married and become a family. After we were married we moved into a townhouse in Virginia Beach and waited for the birth of our child. It was June the 21st, the first day of summer when "he" would come into this world and make our new family complete. Everything seemed to be going good. I had quit working outside the home and had started babysitting in my home so I could be there for Lisa and Jr. It was a great plan. By the end of the summer his parents had offered to help us make arrangements him to adopt Lisa so we could be a REAL FAMILY. They also found a house for us to rent that was larger and better able to accommodate our family and my growing babysitting business. It was all coming together for me and Lisa...FINALLY. Sometimes I couldn't even believe it was true. We had the house, the fenced in back yard, two children, two cars, we visited our families on weekends and holidays and we watched sitcoms together on Tuesday and Thursday nights. We had all the appearance of a NORMAL OLD FASHIONED FAMILY. But I spoke too soon. Before Jr would see his third birthday every bit of this dream would come crashing down on us as if a nuclear bomb had gone off in the middle of our living room.

The two most obvious lesson here? Don't get pregnant before you are married, every girl knows that. And don't start a new relationship with someone until you have totally finished the one prior. But neither of these lessons will be the one I would like to bring to your attention today.
Today's lesson? Ask yourself why people do the things they do? Are they trying to manipulate you by filling your life with things you always dreamed of so you will feel obligated to them and ignore their real motives behind their behaviors? Is that quiet, passive man in your life who has an amazing affection for one or more of your children really hiding a deep dark secret from you that you can't see the signs of because you are too trusting to ask him why he does some of the things he does? GOD GAVE US "INSTINCT" FOR A REASON. Listen to it! And take the time to ask yourself why people do the things they do. There is usually a reason! My next post will show you what happens when you don't question you're surroundings and neglect to listen to your instincts. The lives of our family, everyone included, would never be the same after the secrets were told.